When You Want What You Can’t Have

“What could have been” is possibly the most tortuous concept in existence. Our capacity to imagine the most wonderful and the most horrific scenarios can, for some of us, be extreme; or at least extreme enough to prevent us from taking a chance on getting that which we are wishing for in the first place. Anyone who has ever contemplated checking out an online dating service will know what this means!

It’s a phenomena that might be explained better by someone who understands the principles of gambling better than I, but it seems that all we ever do in life is take risks – except when it comes to our hearts and that leap of faith from single to changing our Facebook status for “it’s complicated”.

This is the case particularly so when it comes to falling for a friend or a colleague. We have all been there, and it never seems to get any easier. If we confess how we feel, do we risk losing the friendship, or could it be that it all turns into something great? Indeed, something that could be a turning point in our very lives?

But on the chance that it might not work out for us, we stay silent, let our feelings go unexpressed, and lose ourselves the chance of something more. The thing is, life and love is risk. No matter what we do, there is always a chance that it won’t work out, as well as the chance that it might. That’s the very gamble that makes the journey exciting, even if you look through 100 online dating sites.

So how do you get started with dating chat? Don’t torment yourself with “what could have been” when you could find out so easily with a simple off-hand comment, or if you are a theatrical type, a grand gesture of your affection. Either way, at least you will know. And if the friend is any kind of true friend, they will still be there for you at the end of the day no matter what.