What Women Want

Make us laugh.  Don’t make us cry.  Comfort us if we do.  Don’t baby us.  Be around when we say we don’t need you to.  Listen to everything we say but read between the lines.  Don’t tell us what we think, we already know.  Don’t tell us what to do, because we won’t.  Do what we tell you to do.  Stay when we tell you to go.  Don’t smother us.  Show your sensitive side.  Be a man and get rid of the spiders.  Trap the spider but don’t kill it.  If it is a mouse or a rat or a toad, kill it, but don’t tell us or show us that you are killing it.  Always tell the truth.

If  we met by online dating services, or even just through online dating tips, always lie. Always lie about our bum in those jeans/dress/shorts/skirt/suit/pants/outfit of any description.  Don’t make jokes about our weight.  Ever.  Ever.  EVER.  Make jokes a lot.  Be serious when we want to be.  Take the relationship seriously.  Don’t brush us off.  Know what you want and give us what we want.  Never lie, but be sensitive about the truth.  Never cheat.  Never compare us to other women.   Never put a boys’ night ahead of our time.  Always seek permission to attend a boys’ night.  We will accept your friends if you get to know ours.  Get to know our friends.

If you don’t like our friends, pretend to like them.  You like the parents.  Even if you don’t like them, you like the parents.  Introduce us to your parents.  Even if your parents don’t like us, tell us that they do.  Let your mother tell embarrassing stories about you.   Don’t let your father ask about the sex in the relationship.  Don’t tell your parents if we met through internet dating.  Don’t let your parents meet our parents under any circumstances.  Be a man, be yourself, be honest and be ours.